I’m glad to announce the publication of my novel, “Yours Forever” by #Finger Print Publishing. Available through Amazon.in, https://www.amazon.in/Yours-Forever-Nimmu/dp/9387779661
Will be in Stores across India very soon.
Fairy tales read at bedtime
Told me of a Prince who would complete me in this lifetime
Held on to this dreams and looked out the window,
For the Prince to arrive and take away my sorrow.
Held on to the hope that my Prince would arrive,
And deliver me, from this prison of mine.
Held on to the fantasy that once the Prince enters,
I would be free from my dark tormentor.
My Prince did arrive, I thought I was finally saved
I sighed with relief that I got the love that I craved
Little did I know, that he was looking for the same
Someone to complete him – a dame who would take his name.
Disappointments took me on a quest for the question that still loomed
Why did I still feel incomplete? Am I doomed?
After all the searches the path led me back to me.
There was nothing that I lacked and I was whole and complete.
I was my savior and the answer to my questions in the end,
And my ‘Happily ever after’ began just then.
A lonely life…
A lonely life I had chosen to live
On a mountain in recluse
Far away from the maddening crowd
Far away from the flawed mankind
They were selfish, arrogant and rude
In need of constant approval from the croods
Putting fake mask and pretending
Trying to act important and condescending
I hated them all so to say,
So I chose to stay far, far away.
One day my eyes caught my eyes on the mirror in front of me
I saw my SELF for the first time I felt
A being of light and love personified
Was the real me hiding inside.
Tears overflowed like rain on my cheeks
A joy exploded and I reached a new peak.
Then I saw that I was all-
Hatred and love, greed and generosity, pride and humbleness, war and peace
And that I had always the choice
To follow the path of fear or love
All along I had chosen fear
and so I had become a hater.
My eyes finally opened to the reality
I accepted myself as I was born to be
With all of lives duality.
A profound peace finally descended me
A blanket of love engulfed me.
I now walked down the hill
And embraced the first soul to my hearts fill.
For he was me and I was him with faults and imperfections
And it was finally okay with me.
Standing Alone – My second novel available on Amazon.com and Smashwords!
An unexpected meeting with her late husband’s friend Richard in Charleston sends Seema on an emotional roller coaster ride which she never imagined she would be in. Richard falls in love with her knowing quite well she would never cross the boundaries set by her culture and family. But will Seema give up seeking the approval of everyone around her to follow her heart?
Here’s how you can get it: Click on the links below:
On Amazon :
US : http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IAQXTC2
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On Smashwords: use the coupon below to get a 30% discount until the 19th.
Coupon Code: VH93Z
Expires: February 19, 2014
For those who want a printed copy click the link below
View original post 6 more words
Life and death a parenthesis in eternity
What I do in between is entirely left to me.
The circumstances that I was born into
Was exactly what I needed for my soul to evolve consciously.
But where I went from there
Was the choice bestowed unto me.
I have the power, I have the choice
To make this place hell or a place to rejoice.
I could wallow in self-pity, blame others for my problem
and cry out at the injustice done unto me.
Or use the lessons that I learnt to help some other soul
Be a beacon of hope and guide them to their true North Pole.
Spread love instead of bitterness, forgive instead of spitefulness, be grateful and not complain.
Help me God to remember these choices and to live without disdain.
Happy Anniversary My Love…
Our tenth anniversary was coming up. I wanted to do something different this time, because getting more dresses and ties were just becoming too boring. We had always wanted our marriage to not fall in the boring category. So we made it a priority to take time to spend with each other in spite of our busy working schedules. We tried new activities together or learnt something new to bring into our marriage. Marriage is after all companionship for the long run right?So why have we fallen into the boring gift giving category. Yes this time I am going to write a letter I thought. Though I tell him most of the time with my actions and words that I love him, there is nothing like writing a hand written letter isn’t it?
First I enlisted five of his colleagues to give five different notes on five different days:-
Friend one:- “You have an ardent admirer. Can you guess who?”
Friend two:- “I love the way you smile and you turn me on.”
Friend three:- “You are my sexy man.”
Friend four:- “You are my number one.”
Friend five:- “You and me forever. What do you say?”
Day one:- He came home smiling when he entered the room and put his arms around me and kissed me on my neck.
“I know who my ardent admirer is.” He said laughing throatily.
“What are you talking about? Ardent admirer .” I said not wanting to give in.
“It was you wasn’t it?”
I turned around looking him straight in the eye. “What are you talking about?”
Come on. Don’t act. You know you can’t keep any secrets from me.
I really don’t understand. You have an ardent admirer?
He pulled out the paper and showed it to me.
I asked him angrily “So who is it? Someone in your office gave it and you are coming and asking me? Tell who ever is admiring you that you are married.” I snorted and walked away from him pretending to be angry.
I just couldn’t suppress my giggles that I ran into the bathroom and opened the tap to prevent him from hearing my laugh. “Gosh this is indeed fun.”
I could see the bewildered face on my poor Aakash. But I had four more days to go and I needed to zip my mouth until then because it was true that I could never hide anything from him.
Day two:- I begged my husband’s colleague to not tell him who it was even if he twisted his arm and he promised to keep my secret.
The second day there was no acknowledgement about the receipt of the note. Had he given up already? I wondered. He seemed to be in a pensive mode.
I called up his colleague to ask him how it went and he confessed that his arms were twisted, but he held on to the truth. I thanked him profusely.
Day three:- I got a call from the colleague to whom I had handed over the note saying that my husband was refusing to get the letter. I beamed with pride at his loyalty. He seemed more sexy to me today and my heart swelled with pride.
While I was cleaning the dishes he came into the kitchen and cleared his throat.
“Aarthi I need to talk to you.”
I turned around and blew my hair out of my eye.
“Is everything okay?”
“I really don’t know who it is. I keep getting these little notes. I thought it was you, but I know you wouldn’t dare to do such things that too in my office. But here. I got a note today too and I didn’t open it. You open and read.” He placed it on the counter top and walked away.
I went back to the living room and said “Here. I am already doing enough for you and the kids. I can’t open your love letters for you.” I threw it on the sofa and walked back to the kitchen.
I acted angry the whole evening. “So ten years into the marriage, I am an old woman with two kids but you are still a sexy man for a prick.” I said fuming.
“Look Aarthi, I really don’t know who it is. That is why I wanted you to open it. So don’t be mad at me. I just can’t help being sexy.” He giggled.
“Ya Ya I guess whoever she is…actually let us hope it is a “she” okay has never seen you burp or fart. So indeed you are sexy for her.”
“Hey don’t bruise my male ego. You know how long it has been since someone hit on me. So I am going to enjoy all the attention.” He said lying down on the sofa folding both his hand behind his head and smiling.
Day Four :- I heard from his colleague that he opened the letter today. It seems the news had spread at his work place about the anonymous letters and today a few of his close friends surrounded him as he opened the letter. “Gosh, I felt embarrassed today.”
Today he walked into the house loosening his tie and singing Enrique Iglesias “You’re my number one” song.
I looked at him quizzically, “For whom? Your lady love?”
He came and hugged me and said “I know I am number three on your list after our two little monkeys, but to someone out there, I am their number one.”
“Whoever is this b…” I stopped my curse half way seeing my son. “I am going to twist her neck if I see her.” I said.
My husband laughed and said “Okay. Prove to me I am your number one tonight.”
“Gosh I don’t want to compete with a no face jerk who doesn’t even have the courage to hand the letters herself.” I said gnashing my teeth.
“Okay okay. Cool down. Come here.” He pulled me onto his lap.
“I only want to be on your list, even if it is number three or number thirty.” He kissed me tightly and the kids were grossed out and ran into their room.
I got a call from my husband. “Aarthi… guess who has been handing over all those little note.”
“Who?” I asked with trepidation, hoping he hadn’t found out.
“It is that mottu receptionist. I knew she had an eye on me. She always used to come to my room to hand over all the letters personally and talk unnecessarily. Today while I was walking across her table I spotted the letter in a pink envelope on her table below all the mails. Today she delivered it personally.”
“Oh really. Then I am relieved.” I said sighing.
I heard him tearing the envelope and he read what I had written.
“You and me forever. What do you say?”
“What is she thinking? Doesn’t she know I am already married? Shall I go and confront her?”
“No No just stay calm. You don’t want to make a scene at work do you.?I am sure the person who is so interested in you will definitely come in person to talk. So don’t come to conclusions yet. Okay.”
“Okay. Let me hope it is someone really pretty at least.” He said mumbling.
“If it is someone pretty?” I asked questioningly.
“I will sigh and show my ring and say “Maybe in our next birth babe.””
I laughed hearing him. “Hey you remember what is tomorrow right?”
“What is tomorrow?” I knew he was scratching his chin. Then with a shock in his voice he said.
“Aarthi, I have to confess to you. I haven’t bought you anything yet. This whole note thing distracted me this week. You tell me what you want, I will buy for you.”
“It is our tenth anniversary, do I have to spell everything for you. You go and figure.” I kept the phone down angrily. This time I was really angry. Here I was planning for the last two weeks and he was saying that he just remembered that it was our anniversary tomorrow.
Then I folded the letter that I had hand written and delivered it to the florist shop on my way.
It was our anniversary, my in-laws bought some sweets and my hubby had bought me a sari which I had eyed in our previous visit to the mall.
“Thanks. How did you remember? “
“I try to, so that I can come up on your list at least one time a year.” We smiled at each other.
“Okay I have to hurry to work.” I said and got out of the house. I called the florist to ask him if everything had gone according to my plan and he said that he had done as I told him to.
When my husband entered into his room, it was filled with helium balloons and on the table laid my letter with a lipstick kiss on the envelope. He opened the letter. The letter read:-
To the love of my life,
We entwined our lives ten years ago in the name of marriage. Yes we entered in with trepidation and excitement just as any couple would have. We have seen the ups and downs. We have fought and made up. We gave in and compromised most of the times!
But these ten years have been the best decade of my life! The strength I got standing beside you, gave me the courage to accomplish my dreams. The freedom I had to be who I am, made me fall in love with you more. The way you trusted me, made me want to be more trust worthy. You are the one to show me what it is to love someone by giving them space to grow instead of caging them in the name of love.
How much I have grown and matured? When I look back at those years I am proud to be the person who I am today and that is because of you my dear. Without your love and support I would have never been able to accomplish so much at work and at home.
I love you Aakash, with all my heart and soul. I make a vow to you again on our anniversary that I would never take you for granted. I know marriage is for the long haul and with all the negativity about marriage that I see happening around me, I cherish what we have. I want to prove to every pessimist out there that having that one person in the world to love you and to come back too is worth all the work and sacrifices. Yes after ten years I would say we don’t have the initial excitement which we had in our first year, but in turn we have a wonderful bond and understanding that comes only after staying with someone for a long time. We have created a small world around us which is happy, secure and beautiful and having two wonderful babies as a proof of our love. What more can we ask?
I am able to go out in the world and win, because I know I have you behind my back and likewise I am standing besides you holding your hands. Our is a partnership of two adults and there is no place for dominance or belittling someone because if I hurt you I know I am hurting myself. For all the times that we have fought and all the times we went to bed angry I look back and see that those were the moments that brought us closer together with deeper understanding. I want to grow old together and see our children grow and become adults and believe in the system of marriage seeing us.
Yes I love my kids. But you are my number one (even if it doesn’t feel that way) but believe me. Your smile lightens up my world. Your are still the one sexy man I want to end up in bed with. You and me forever. What do you say?
Love you today and forever more,
There were tears sliding down his cheeks said his friends to me the next day. But those words were not enough to prove how much he meant to me but I knew he would get it.
He called me up at work
“Hey you naughty girl, so you were the one sending me all those notes. You fooled me well this time, gosh I have to give it to you for your wonderful acting.”
“So are you sad, that the only admirer is your wife.”
“Hell no. I am happy that she still sees me and feels the same for me as I do for her. I love you Aarthi. I will come and pick you up at 5 from work. Inform your boss before that.”
“I will be waiting for you. Love you too honey.”
But when we got home the house was quiet and I asked him where the kids and my in-laws were .
They have gone to stay at my sister’s house for today. So we have the entire evening for just the two of us.
“So you did do some planning actually.”
“How can I forget it was our tenth anniversary.” He pulled me closer and kissed me and carried me to the bedroom.
I was even more surprised to see the bed covered in rose petals. I felt like a new bride again.
“I love you Aarthi. You will always be my number one.”
“I love you too Aakash.” I said tears sliding down my cheeks.
Excuse me? Mr.Excuses
Every time my heart swells with pride
at an idea that just felt right.
I hear a knock on the other side.
“Who is it?” I ask,
Wincing to hear the answer;
As I know too well, who it might be.
In walks Mr.EXCUSES with the list of all things that can go wrong
Making me shudder with fear at my own stupid thoughts.
I stuff my brilliant idea and walk around being numb
Doing everything that is not meaningful; but feeling kind of glum.
My little voice doesn’t give up; he whispers to me at night
“So what if the world laughs at you at least it feels right. Do that which ignites you and show off your light. Do not die another death by trying to ignore. Please don’t give up; let us try once more.”
This time I hear the knock again,
Louder than before.
In comes Mr.EXCUSES puffier and red,
Don’t listen to the little voice because you’ve got duty to be fulfilled,Cobwebs to dust and stomachs to fill.
I have tried that I tell Mr.EXCUSES to please everyone,
But no one is fulfilled and my life feels numb.
I go on about my day on auto-drive,
Stuffing myself with food and gossips,
Buying gold and clothes to fill up my time; but still I feel empty inside.
I think all I have is this one life to live;
So let me start small even if it seems stupid.
Let me fall; let me stumble; let me break into a thousand pieces.
Let people laugh; let them mock but I know at least I tried.
So please Mr.EXCUSES, let us work together this time.
Let us make excuses to spend time on things that I love
Unwrapping gifts within me which I am born to give.
Spreading light and love because I feel happy and free.
Even if no one is happy because I followed my own path;
I can die happily without my hearts wrath!
For you dad…
You were the one to bring life into me
And now I stand before thee
Writing a poem which is true
Not from my tongue but my heart below
When a terrible storm blew in our life
You stood strong to face the strife
When I cried you dried my tears
When I played you were there to cheer
The love and affection showered by you
Is boundless and is known by few
You work hard to give us the best
By walking through many a test
Thank You Dad for all these things
But mere words are not enough for my gratitude.
Love is Patient
I was married at the time that I had met him. I had 2 young kids and visited the library often. We bumped into each other and when I looked into his eyes to apologize I felt like I had known him for many lives. He felt so familiar and my heart jumped with a sense of recognition.
I said “I’m sorry.” When I tried walking away he held his hand out saying “Hi, I’m Dave. Do you come here often? You look very familiar.”
I said “Yes. I come with my kids often here. Nice to meet you too.” and walked away to the kids room in the library.
“Ah! it’s just that I have been coming to the library so often that half the people would already know me here.” I sighed to myself.
The next time when I visited the library, I went looking for a book and when I was pulling it out of the shelf someone else was pulling it out at the same time. I gave in. There, on the other side was Dave again. He broke out with a grin and said “Hi, Nice to see you again. If you want you can keep this book. By the way I didn’t get your name last time.”
I nodded no “Hi, I’m Scarlett. You can keep the book. I can read something else.”
“What kind of books do you read?” he asked. When I told him my genre of favorite books and authors he took me around and showed a few books that he had read and recommended them for reading. Then he started talking about himself and how he was in between jobs for the past 2 months and he listed all the books that he had been reading.
I was fascinated. I loved reading books and any free time that I got I usually sit down and read. I have always wanted to write too, but never had the courage to write. It was nice to meet someone who shared the same interest and I told him how I have always wanted to try writing.
He immediately started persuading me to start writing something small and to bring it to show it to him on Monday. I nodded my head in doubt but he asked me to promise him that I would try writing at least one page.
I finally did try writing a page of the story that had been running in my head for a long time. When I went to meet him on Monday he was not there. I felt disappointed. So I sat there and wrote more pages.
By wednesday I had written nearly 10 pages and wanted to meet Dave again to share it and get his opinion. So when the kids were at school I went to the library with apprehension to see if I can meet him or atleast write without disturbances. Alas there he was standing near the entrance in a rugged jeans and a red sweater on. He looked so handsome.
I didn’t want to seem that I had come to meet him and acted surprised on seeing him.
He said ,”Sorry I couldn’t meet you on Monday. I had a call for an interview and I had to go since my savings are diminishing.”
He asked me if I had kept the promise. So we sat in a table and I opened my laptop to show the pages that I had written. He was pretty impressed with the story line and corrected some of the sentences. He knew that I was married but never asked about it.
My husband had been busy for the past year and half with setting up his new business. He was frequently out of town for 5 days and came only for the weekends. During the weekdays I could never talk to him much. I never complained but it was creating a void in me. A need for someone to share my days, which were becoming like wallpaper repeating the same pattern over and over again.
Now Dave was like a bloom in my winter days. He made it a bit more colorful. We started meeting more often at Starbucks or Barnes and Nobles. We discussed books and our other interests. We had so many things in common. At times I felt he was my soul mate to me.
I did not want to define our relationship with a word. I looked forward to meeting him whenever I could and we did about 6 months. I had nearly completed my book as well with his encouragement.
One day when we were at the coffee shop he looked intensely at me, I felt nervous. I knew he was about to say something serious. I only prayed that what he was about to say would not change our relationship in anyway. But alas he had to say this, “Scarlett I love you. I know you are married but I don’t want you to do anything about it. From the day I met you I felt like I have known you forever. I felt a spark like I have never felt with anyone else that I have met in my life. I couldn’t help myself from holding on to this secret for any longer. It feels so hard to withhold it. I would rather let you know and face your reaction than locking it up. We can still be friends and I would be your first instigator in getting your books published and be there when ever you need me. But I had to let you know how I feel about you for my sake.”
My hands started shaking. I knew I liked him a lot too. We had a lot of things in common and I had felt the same spark that he just described. But I had made a vow to a man, to stand by him until death do us apart. Now I couldn’t continue my relationship with him I thought. He had been a good friend and helped me find my passion. But I didn’t want to meet him again.
“I am sorry. I can’t do this Dave. It was okay for me as long we were friends. But I am married. My first commitment is to my kids and my marriage. You were a wonderful friend who helped me find myself. You rescued me from a depression and showed me what I was meant to do in my life. I thank you for that. But I am sorry. I don’t think I can continue with this and keep giving you hopes. As I have come from a broken home I always wanted to give my children the stability of a family. I think I am holding you up from meeting other wonderful women out there who would give you what you deserve. I will sure miss you. But you deserve better Dave. So let’s part ways before either of us hurt each other more.” I walked away without looking back with tears streaming through my eyes.
12 Years Later…..
It was a very cold December day. I was in Book a Million signing my books. I had written 3 books so far and was being welcomed by readers across America.
My husband left me 10 years back for a younger woman he met while on his business trip. I started writing with fervor and here I was today signing books for my fans and living my dream.
I heard someone call me “Scarlett can you sign this for me?” The voice seemed very familiar and I turned around to see the face that I had yearned so many days to see. To tell him that it was because of him that I was here in this place. But I had not known his whereabouts. I prayed that one day I would be able to tell him how thankful that I was to him. Here he was… standing with the same twinkle in eyes and dimple on his cheeks.
Tears tried creeping in my eyes. I tried stopping them but no walls could hold them now. I got the book from his hand and signed “Dear Dave I dedicate these books to you…” with a tear drop blotting his name.