I find that many of the people that I see (more often women) are totally unaware of what they love to do.
A simple question “What do you love to do?” more often comes with the response as “I don’t know.”
I feel the authentic self that which we came with to the world, remembers its mission or its purpose.
But the conditioned self, that which learnt to survive in this planet earth by pleasing everyone around and listening to the crowd so as to be accepted has chosen to hide the true calling for the fear of being ridiculed.
I feel if we take this retracing back to our true self as a puzzle or a game we will surely arrive at the place that we know rings true only to us. What if this life was a game of hide and seek created by some higher power?
In the intial phase we hide our true selves and as we reach a certain age then nagging inside s that keeps asking “Is this all there is?” and is not satisfied by money or power or any other pleasure.
Then we go through the seeking phase, where we try to find out what we loved to do as a child because that was when we were pure and original and most of the time we come to remember but sometimes we need to probe further because there was guilt or shame or reprimand associated with following what you love.
Finally once you find out, it is upto us to go further into the unknown territory. Fear once again takes a giant size and tells you in many forms how stupid the idea really is. But learning to look at fear and keep trudging along that path is what will finally lead you to the place of authentic fulfillment.
Success will not be immediate. Doubts do crop up unlimited times but dedicating atleast one hour every day to that which you love to do will definitely be worth it than listening to fear and hanging on the heavy feeling of “Something doesn’t feel right”
So to start the seeking process a journal is your safe haven. You can start writing with the intention to find answers or at least hear back from the self that was stuffed back inside years ago.
The perfectionist self will give all kinds of excuses of not starting it like ( I don’t have the right notebook, I don’t have time etc etc)
But become aware, that it is Mr.Fear in the form of excuses and start your journey.
I would like to end this with Paulo Coehlo’s words:
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself and tell your heart that no heart has suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”
A book to get you started on journaling:
Writing Down Your Soul: How to Activate and Listen to the Extraordinary Voice Within
All the best as your embark on your journey!